DR. Deborah C Bauers
Marriage on Purpose
Sara and Brett came together for their first session with cannons loaded and ready to fire upon each other. While they both talked about wanting to learn to communicate better, they admitted that most of their disagreements turned into fights. When I asked them about the intimacy they shared, he said that even “make-up sex” wasn’t happening much.
About The Book
Marriage on Purpose
Marriage on Purpose: A Paradigm for Christian Marriage by Dr. Deborah C. Bauers and Jane Daly isn't just another marriage book. It gets into the core of what truly makes a Christian marriage thrive. Drawing on Dr. Bauers' experience as a Christian counselor and Jane Daly's insightful writing, the book provides a practical framework built on Biblical principles. It's your roadmap to a marriage that reflects God's love and strengthens your journey together.
“Marriage on Purpose” is the perfect companion to your church’s Marriage Mentor Ministry. Dr. Bauers uses it to train mentors on the answers to three essential questions that build the framework for a life-giving marriage. “Marriage on Purpose” is a model for husband and wife and is empowered by the Holy Spirit, the third cord” spoken of in Ecclesiastes 4:12.
“What is Being Admitted” looks at the development of over-all intimacy: emotional, mental/social, spiritual and physical. It provides help and tools to grow intimacy in each of these four areas.
“What Is Being Shared?” teaches couples that each spouse needs to purposefully invest in the relationship. It instructs a husband and wife to be willing to say, “I’m sorry” and take responsibility for behaviors that are wrong and unnecessarily hurtful. It directs spouses to intentionally demonstrate love in action and show examples of what this can look like.
“What Is Being Confronted” addresses how to focus on resolving issues as a team. It teaches “third-way” thinking and creative ways to problem-solve. Healthy approaches toward resolving differences include staying focused on the issue and resolution and on not attacking each other.
“Marriage on Purpose” is more than a guide to building a strong marriage. It is filled with essentials that can lead developing a growing and thriving relationship.
If you are a part of a church mentoring ministry that would like more intentional training, or your church is looking at developing a mentor ministry, you can contact Dr. Bauers for help. Deborah and her husband oversee a powerful mentoring ministry for couples at Springs Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Contact her at marriage@springs.church.
Video Trailer
A must-read for any Christian couple seeking a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
Characters and Theme
Brett
Background: Brett works in construction and feels the weight of his job, which leaves him exhausted by the end of the day. His parents separated when he was thirteen, and he lived mostly with his mother. This experience has influenced his desire to work hard and provide a stable life for his children.
Personality and Struggles: Brett is characterized by a need for downtime after work, which leads to conflicts with Sara over household responsibilities. He feels unappreciated and struggles with the pressure of balancing work and family life. Brett’s reluctance to express his emotions is a barrier to building emotional intimacy with Sara.
Commitment to Marriage: Initially, Brett is less motivated to attend counseling, only agreeing to it due to Sara’s insistence. However, he does not want to follow in his parent’s footsteps and is open to working on their marriage.
Sara
Background: Sara has a demanding job and feels overwhelmed by her responsibilities both at work and at home. She is often the one managing the household and taking care of their children, leading to feelings of frustration and exhaustion.
Personality and Struggles: Sara feels unsupported by Brett and is disheartened by the lack of quality time they spend together. Her dissatisfaction has grown to the point where she considers leaving the marriage. Sara’s struggle is not only with Brett’s perceived lack of contribution but also with the emotional toll of feeling unappreciated.
Commitment to Marriage: Despite her frustration, Sara is willing to try counseling as a last effort to save their marriage. Her faith and the influence of a friend who had a positive counseling experience motivated her to give their relationship another chance.
Counseling Dynamics
Initial Sessions: The sessions reveal the depth of their struggles, with Brett and Sara often falling into the “blame game.” Their counselor focuses on establishing a foundation of trust and emotional intimacy, emphasizing the importance of commitment and mutual respect.
Emotional Journey: Through counseling, both Brett and Sara begin to explore their individual feelings and the underlying issues in their marriage. They are guided to understand the importance of emotional intimacy and to communicate more effectively.
Things Readers Will Learn
Building a Solid Foundation:
Readers will discover the importance of trust, mutual respect, and the four pillars of intimacy (emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical) in building a solid foundation for marriage.
The Power of Commitment:
It will help readers go beyond conflict resolution and develop a deeper commitment that sustains relationships through challenges and growth.
Communication from the Heart:
Readers will learn powerful communication tools for expressing feelings, listening deeply, and genuinely validating their spouse’s experiences.
Bringing God into Marriage:
It will also help readers explore how faith can guide a person, strengthen their bond, and provide a source of hope and inspiration in their journey together.
Facing Challenges Head-On:
It will help readers gain insights and practical tools for overcoming common marital issues like infidelity, communication breakdowns and navigating life’s inevitable hurdles.
What It Means to Have a Covenant Marriage
A Biblical Covenant Marriage is a lifelong, sacred union between a man and a woman that is established before God and is more than just a legal contract. It emphasizes commitment, faithfulness, and mutual love, reflecting God’s covenant relationship with His people.
About the Author
Counselor, Author, and Champion of Strong Relationships!
Dr. Deborah Bauers
She isn’t your average therapist. With 35 years of experience under her belt, she’s made her way through the complexities of relationships from every angle—as a pastor’s wife, a counselor, an educator, and even a grandma of eight!
Her passion lies in helping couples build marriages that survive through all ups and downs. Whether in her clinical practice, busy classroom, or leading marriage retreats, Dr. Bauers promotes meaningful connections and empowers individuals to get through life’s challenges.
Dr. Bauers’ expertise goes beyond her impressive academic background (Masters from Liberty University and Doctorate from Andersonville Theological Seminary). She’s a recipient of the Pulitzer Citizen Journalism Award, a published author in both fiction and non-fiction and even a former newspaper columnist. This diverse skillset allows her to translate complex concepts into practical, actionable advice that relates to readers.
However, Dr. Bauers’ greatest strength lies in her genuine empathy and solid belief in the power of healthy relationships. She’s witnessed firsthand the impact strong marriages have on families and communities, driving her dedication to supporting local churches through her “Marriage Mentor Ministry” initiative.
Who This Book Is For
Couples of all ages seeking to strengthen their Christian marriage.
Pre-engaged couples desiring a solid foundation for their future.
Pastors, counselors, and anyone passionate about healthy Christian relationships.
